6 Phases of Project Development

All projects - at work, home, or church - go through a normal life cycle.  If you understand these phases, life will be much easier on you.  To ignore them means a life of disappointment and unrealistic expectations. 8^)

1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusion
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise and Honors for the Non-Participants

Y'all have a fun weekend!

Your Last Normal Weekend?

What would you do if you knew your life was going to change DRASTICALLY tomorrow? Would you spend more time with your family? Would you . . . ? Forget the questions. You can think of things you may do different on your own.

I find myself not thinking about "Giving Thanks Today." Today has become a milestone on the calender. A date, a weekend, a point in my life when my world changed.

For me - on this day of "Thanksgiving", I look back over the last three years and all we have endured. Three years ago this weekend was our last "normal" weekend. It was the last time Wiley drove. It was the last time we we were not wondering, "Will we be rushing to the hospital tonight?" Will there be a breakdown? And even tougher questions like, "Will Wiley be with us tomorrow?" For three years, we have had to wonder about these questions and a ton more every day.

That Thanksgiving three years ago was the last holiday with all families. That Christmas was celebrated in the ICU with Wiley medicated and hooked up to monitors, tubes, and machines not really knowing we were there or what day it was. He was unaware that 4 days earlier that had almost pronounced him dead. Stacy's Dad went home to be with the Lord right after that holiday.

There have been no easy holidays since then. Please understand, I am very grateful the blessings I have received through my life - my salvation, my parents, my wife, my sons, My friends, my health, . . . and the list goes on. My full list would take days to write. We have been so blessed even for the last three years. It's true, we have faced many adversities. We have been blessed in the middle of these storms.

Have you ever thought, "What is there to be thankful for?" I have! There have been times when I was down. Times when I was in the middle of a "pity party." Intellectually I know, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED. But emotionally, I struggle to be truly thankful. I would love to say am always thankful. I would LOVE to be able to say that. One day may be able to always say that. I pray I can.

I pray every day for God to use me as a minister wherever satan drags me. In my weakness, when I am broken, I pray for God to shine through me and in spite of me. When I struggle to make it through the day, I lean on God to carry me. And, He does.

On the day for "Giving Thanks", it's hard. It's tough to face my struggles with a heart of thanksgiving. But I do. I am so very thankful for the blessings and mercies God has shown me.

I want to encourage you - Be thankful.

I Wish I was Smarter or Wiser

This weekend was tough. We had a bad weekend on stage. We have a good friend that access to a 24x4 snake. We want one for the band. And, we want to get the board away from the stage so I can focus on the vocals and guitar. Then someone else can handle the mix and volume that is out in the audience. Sounds like a great plan. We need to do it. I want to do it. I know that. After all, it's how i got started playing in public.

I didn't like the feel of it this weekend. The sound guy is a great friend. But, I did not know his skill level. And, i would never have a guitar player have his first time to play with us be at a gig. It would not be fair to the new player or the band.

I let the band down. I knew better and failed to say "no." When we saw the sound check going so bad, I didn't step in and take over the engineering. I was so frustrated with my self for failing to fix everything, my frustrations made the night tough on the band.

We all got so focused on the volume, we forgot to share the Love of Jesus. But, We were blessed. God moved in spite of us. What's the quote, "God loves fools and Little children." Well Saturday night, I was both.

I wish I had the wisdom to not make my failures tough on the band. I let the guys down. And it was not my technical failure that made the night tough. But, it was how my frustration effected my attitude that made the night difficult.

It's a SMALL world

Last night was a a blast for me. Debi Longoria found me on facebook. (No big deal, that happens a lot with my name - go figure!) She was looking for Christian artists apparently - I guess I should ask. But, I saw she was from Flower Mound, Texas. We lived there for 6 years. We left about 10 years ago. If you know that area, you know how transient it is. None of our friend were from Flower Mound or even the Dallas area. Everyone was a transplant. And just when you got to know someone, it seemed like they moved on. We were no exception.

Through our chatting back and forth we discovered we went to church together at Lakeland Baptist in Lewisville. We even went there at the same time - but didn't remember each other. We know so many of the same people it was fun to catch up on the happenings of our mutual friends.

It's helped me find some of Wiley's old friends. I am looking forward to helping him reconnect with them. It will help him on bad days to think about the fun and friends from Texas.

Now, to do the detective work and find those friends and other people i have lost contact with is the challenge.

Where are Glen Fivash, Ann Perrigin, Trace Perrigin, Colt Perrigin, Scott Farbiack, Bobby Davidson, and a bunch of other people?

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I love Stephen Wright's quote, "It's a small world . . . but, I don't want to paint it."

Fun Stuff

If I can't have fun, I don't want to play.

Life is too short to hate what you are doing. It's too short to just survive. I know there are things in every job that we don't like. And we have to put on the big boy pants and do them anyway. But, as a rule. If you hate everything about what you do, do something else. It's not hard. But, it may take work. My wife is a great example. She is heading back to school to get a BA in communications. She doesn't want to go to school. She want's the opportunity that school/diploma provides. It's hard work. She is doing great and working her tail off. But, she is having fun.

I love what I do. Writing software is fun for me. Playing music is more fun. But, I also LOVE eating and sleeping indoors.

I have had jobs I hate. When that happens, it's time to move on. It's hard to leave a good paying job. But, money can't buy an extra day of life.

Life's too short. You had better start enjoying it! Start now!

St. Jude - Home Away From Home

I never imagined a hospital could feel like home. But then, I have not imagined most of the last three years. We are quickly approaching the 3 year mark for diagnosing Wiley's tumor.

Tomorrow, we had back to St. Jude. This time it's a psychiatric evaluation. It's a late in the day so we will be spending the night and rolling back Wednesday morning. We are excited about the prospects of the visit. We are praying for some medications to help control his emotional swings that occur each day.

When we get to St. Jude, there is a level of comfort that is hard to explain. We relax for some reason. Why? I am not sure. It may be the fact every one there is in the same boat we're in. Even though it is a hospital, it not a typical hospital. No ER. No real OR. If you have an emergency, you're off to LeBonhuer. (We have made that trip before.) But, there is a comfort. No one ask, "What are you here for?" You wonder sometimes, but you never ask. It's not important. We each belong to the fraternity of "Parents of St. Jude Kids." You develop a real friendship with the people you see often. You wind up on the same checkup schedules. And before you know it, you see each other every three months. You spend your days in the same waiting Areas.

There is an old arab proverb - "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." We are all there battling the common enemy of childhood cancer, tumors, or some other illness. So, as we fight the common enemy, we build friendships.

Too Grateful?

Can you be too grateful? I do not think so. Gratitude was taught to me as a child. My dad stressed to me the importance of telling people "Thank You". As I have grown older, I understand the value being sincerely grateful to others. I use to think my success was based only on my performance. I have learned that's not the case. My success is based on the success of the people around me. In every thing I do, I search for something I can complement people on. I do this so I can give a very specific example of what I am grateful for. A complement or "thank you" without an example, is just flattery. People know when you are sincere. Think about it. which comment makes you feel like the work you did was noticed: "good job!" or "Thanks for the 'good job' on...!" IF you hear something specific, you know they were really watching.

Gratitude is not a ploy to get your way or to gain favor. It MUST be sincere and without strings.

Be grateful. It's a skill you can learn. I think it's a skill you must learn.

Facebook - Old Friends - Wait, Does That Make Me Old?

We are having a good time playing on Facebook. My wife and sons got me on it. (I hate computers. But, that's another entry.) Facebook - If you are not on it you should be. It's free, easy, and helps you reconnect and keep in touch with friends. And for me, it was a place to meet new friends.

The old friends - and they are not that OLD! Trust me, they cant be too old - I'm not. My old school friends. I was not much of an outgoing person in high school. As my dad said I made the top half of the class possible. I had 3 or 4 friend and a bunch of people I knew. I have started reconnecting with them through it. Marci Webber Woodruff was someone I knew. We didn't hang out together. But, I have learned a lot about her on Facebook. We both have gone through tragedy and struggle in the last few years. A friendship is building. Then there's Al Dubuc, He is the person responsible for us moving back to Clinton - and he lives in Modesto, CA. He owned a training company I worked for. Needless to say, I don't get to Modesto often and Clinton is not a hot bed of staffing training. We can keep in touch at our leisure. How about Dia Jenkins Welch, this is a great childhood friend that's fun to talk to.

Then there are the new friends, guys like Kevin Berry. He is becoming a great friend. We have been to the track to hangout with him and his family. And James Davis, he's working on some new music. I have opened my studio up to him based on the friendship we have built. Racers and Musicians always make great new friends. There is an instant commonality.

Family. I think i have a better idea of where my wife is, going, and doing by her status than anything we have ever had. I have it setup to send her changes to my phone. I love it!

But, let me tell you. The main reason you should be on Facebook - to protect your children! When i say child, I'm talkin' 25 and younger! I can't say this emphatically enough - If you have children, you had better be on Facebook, MySpace, and any other social networking site you child may be on. There are people out there in the cyberworld look for them. You better be there trying to protect them. I have parents say their kids don't go to these sites at home. Guess what, they get to them at friend's houses, the library, and dozens of other places. Burying you head in the cyber-sand does not protect your kids. You MUST get involved in there cyber-social network. To not do it, is placing your child at risk!

Just Slidin' Through

A great way to spend a few hours!

"Life Sucks!" - Wiley King's Quote

My son as most of you know is battling a brain tumor. Battling is an understatement!

Here is a young man who was a "normal" kid one day and a "Special Needs" kid the next. He has not lost his innate intelligence. But he has lost the speed in which his mind processes. He went from the most incredible memory of anyone I have ever known - to a very poor memory. Add the memory loss the loss of sight, and when you forget where you set something, you can't see it - even if it's in front of you. He gets a shot every day. He takes 11 meds a day to stay alive and function. He has limited control of his emotions. He can't work right now. Maybe he can in the future. We don't know. The plans he had for himself are gone. To him, in his words, "Life Sucks!"

Jesus said in the "Sermon on the Mount", It rains on the just and the unjust. Rain can be a bad thing and rain can be a good thing. But good or bad, just because we have been redeemed by the Blood of Christ does not mean we are exempt. It does not help his emotions. But, it helps me keep things in perspective.

We try very hard not to make Wiley feel I am sacrificing my career to stay home with him. I'm fortunate that it is an option. But, it is career suicide. And i wish i could give more to make his days better. I wish i could trade places with him and take his pain.

We don't know God's plan for our lives. We take each day as it comes. We pray we are in His will. We pray for the rain - the good rain. We pray that we can persevere in the rain - the bad rain.

My Last Political Plea - Vote Newt!

Well, here we are. ELECTION DAY! Thank the Lord. I don't know if I'm gettin' older our the adds are getting more annoying! At least who ever wins it may be over. (Except for the law suits)

My question is. "Why didn't Newt Gingrich run?" I wish we had a conservative running for office. But, we don't. We have to choose the lesser of two evils. I bet they are not evil people - but their policies are suspect.

So, we're off. I get the privilege of taking Wiley to the poll to vote in his first presidential election. We are going mid morning searching / hoping for a gap in the lines.

Then we wait. How long we wait is determined by how much money they want to pay the lawyers to fight it out in court.

Obama or OH NO!

Well one more day till we vote - then another 2 months of legal bickering if Obama losses. 'Cause, there is no way he could loose - after all they have been voting for him thanks to groups like ACORN for weeks now. Here in Mississippi, we say on the news that the NAACP is here with legal help if you are intimidated at the polls. But it's ok to say, "There will be blood in the streets if Obama looses!" That's not intimidation?

I am the most hated person in the world - white, middle aged, hard working, American, male & successful. My wife and I do well. Or I think we do anyway. But I have worked my butt off for 20 years to get here. I work 50+ hours a week. I get paid for 40. I have worked nights, weekends, and holidays. But, I owe more to doctors than I can ever earn. Thanks to insurance and Medicaid, we can pay for the care my son needs. I have had a failed business that cost me everything I own - and a lot of stuff I didn't own but had to continue making payments on. I never filed bankruptcy. I paid everyone back I owed money to. My credit was ruined thanks to our laws that reward bankruptcy and punishes responsibility. But, my conscious was clear.

Just to keep things weird, my son is on Medicaid - a government program supported by our tax dollars. Wiley, and those like him who are not able to work or have medical problems so severe, need help. And in my opinion, the church should step in and help them! But, the church has failed! That's why the government got the opportunity to take our cash. I earn a lot of money. But, there is no way I could pay for all the medical care Wiley needs. There are people who need help to live. We need to help them. But, if you can work, you need to be working to get the help. There are plenty of job opportunities. Sorry folk, if you can work and don't, you don't get help.

My family, nor my wife's family, ever owned slaves. We are not prejudice. We believe Christ, the True Son of God, came to earth and sacrificed himself for everyone. And as far as I'm concerned, if you're good enough for Him, you are good enough for me. We were not given a choice of who to love. We were given the laws to live by. We believe the Bible. Abortion is a sin. Homosexuality is a sin. Murder is a sin. Gluttony is a sin. (If you look at me you can see i have broken this one. But, I am working on it.) Right is Right - Wrong is Wrong. We can not decide which sins we will tolerate as a society. I wish i knew how to fix the gluttony. I do know how a Christian can support a candidate that says it's a "choice" not a Child? Or, that homosexuality is a lifestyle not an abomination to God?

I don't think either candidate for leader of the "free world" has my values. I know one of them want to create a cast system of the old socialist Russia. I have seen the definition of wealthy drop from $250,000 to $80,000. I don't know what the real definition is. I do feel wealthy. Not because of the money I earn. I EARN that money. No one gives it to me. I EARN - EARN - my income. But, the idea of punitive taxation is troubling. They want to take what I earn and give - GIVE - it to some one who will not work. Yep, that is a CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN! If we begin the move to socialism in this elevation, the USA will fail as a world leader. Why do you think the world wants Obama and the country to move away from our Christian values, they do not want us to be the world power.

Well i better get back to work - someone has to make so it can be taken away and given to those who wont work! I'm sure the secrete service will visit me for this political rant.

Great Day of Music

Wow! We had a great afternoon of rehearsing for our gigs that are coming up. We are putting the finishing touches on a few new tunes. We love new songs. It's cool to stretch musically. It's feels good to be off the album and on to gigs. I love playing live. It's a cool outlet. For us, it's a great mission tool. We feel blessed to be called to this ministry.

We had to take a few minutes and do one of the hard parts of playing a gig - fight out a set lists. It's always fun. Which songs? What order? Why? Is there a musical flow? A message flow? What changes are needed between songs? Switch guitars? Who starts the song? What key? It takes time. We never just throw it together. Everyone has ideas. Everybody gets involved. It's a part of the music process most people don't think about. We take this just a serious as the music.

There is nothing like the joy of fellowship with your brothers. We have become family. We laugh and cut up like kids. And when it's time to jam, we all lock in and have one musical voice. Our prayer is to be broken vessels that God will pour through to the souls that are searching for truth.