Renagade Ramblings

Preping For Easter

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 02:12:00 +0000

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. It's the day we celebrate Christ's resurrection. It's an early day for me. At the church by 6:00 to get everything ready for the three services. It will be a great day.

Passion Week

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:26:00 +0000

This is the week that changed the world. Christ entered Jerusalem as a King and Final Sacrifice. He laid down His life as the final sacrifice for my sins. Three days later, he knocked down the gates of hell. He walked out of the tomb a Risen Savior.

By His stripes I have been healed. I have been saved by His Grace, through my faith in Him.

He has changed my life.

NASCAR fans - April Fooled?

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:25:00 +0000

OK folks, did you bite? When you heard or read the Car & Driver article on Obama forcing GM and Chrysler out of NASCAR, did you thing it was true?

If you haven't heard, yesterday (April fool's day) Car & driver reported the Obama was forcing the companies being bailed out out of NASCAR. It was a great article. Early in the morning, there was no mention of it being a joke. The disclaimer was added later in the day. After all the major networks had picked it up and many internet outlets. I loved it. It was not mentioned on the NASCAR site or Jayski's. So i figured it was a joke. The NHRA always has some great jokes too. But non that were as convincing as yesterdays.

What made it so convincing? Is it the fact we could easily believe it? With all the bail out money flowing and executives being fired, bonuses asked (demanded) to be returned, or any of the other socialist ideals moving through the government, it was just too believable NOT to be true. On my facebook, people were outraged. Some wrote public comments but i got a bunch of private messages - horrified at where we are heading as a nation. And we are headed to a socialist nation quickly. The democrats goal of pitting the lower 60% of the nation against the upper 40% will ensure they stay in office. They will tax the corporate executives with punitive taxes and give the money to the workers. They will regulate and tax small business out of existence and create government jobs on the name of "change we can believe in." Soon, we will be like Europe, there will be no middle class. Just the elite politicians and their biggest supporters and those of us that are taxed to support them.

Why was the joke so effective - We all know it's coming. And we thought it was here.

A Father's Quandary - Quality of Life - Did I Make the Right Calls?

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:37:00 +0000

I was never trained in high school or college to be a dad. I have no clue what I am doing. And, it shows. I don't think i was a good dad when i had healthy kids. Now, and for the last three years, I have been trying to be the dad of a critically ill child.

What do you do when you have a child facing a life threatening illness? I don't know the answer! I don't even know the question! My son fights for life everyday. Some day it's a skirmish. Some days it's an all out war. I rips my heart out to see him and hear him beg God to let him die. In his eyes, he has lost it all. He essentially died December 21 2005. The doctors, by God's grace and mercy, were able to revive him. Now, he spends his days being watched and taken care of by me. He remembers life before the tumor - the dreams, the capabilities, the freedom. Things have change. He has lost his vision. He takes 11 medications a day to stay alive an function. His memory is damaged. And the list goes on and on. I know God has a plan for Wiley. There IS SOMEONE that only he can reach out to. But, I still hurt for him.

Am I selfish for saving him for a life of suffering? Have I made the wrong call on his treatments? Are my selfish desires in God's will? And the questions continue in the mind of a father searching for the answers that are in the best interest of a son - no matter how painful the may be.

Bessy Widner's Gardening Pro Tip - The Easter Cold Snap

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:18:00 +0000

My great-grandmother never went to college. I'm not even real sure what grade she finished. But, I can tell you this. No one could out work her or grow a better garden. She had the best vegetable garden. Good stuff.

Her best advice to southern vegi-farmers. You don;t plant before Easter. cause there is always an Easter cold snap.

Penn Jillette's Thoughts

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

This morning in church, Chip Henderson, played the following video BLOG from Penn Jillette. You probably know him as the talking one of the Penn and Teller comedy team. This is a great statement on Christianity and sharing our faith.

Penn Says: A Gift of a Bible

How bad do you have to hate someone?

I don't agree with Penn's religious views. I am a Christian, a believer, a follower of Christ.

I believe I have been saved by grace, through my faith in Christ Jesus. This belief has changed my life.

More Pedal Parts

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:30:00 +0000

It's amazing what you can pick up at you local electronics store and Radio Shack. I am not an electrical engineer. I'm not even real bright. I just love to goof off and play with stuff. As my wife says, I build brick out-houses. I have a blast tinkering. But, inevitably, i over engineer.

I have a massive box that holds 4 overdrives and a compressor. It's been a fun leaning experience. Trying different Op-Amps, different capacitors & resistor, different clipper diodes has been a real learning exercise. I know what i want now. So, i'll build a small pair of Tube Screamers, two Red Llamas, an an Orange Squeeze.

What do i build next? Tremolo? Phase Shifter? Distortion? Tube Amp? . . . ???? Hhhmmmm

The Red Llama Lives

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:53:00 +0000

It's Friday! Woo Hoo!! I love my Job. But, let's face it. The weekend is pretty cool too.

Last night, was a great night of electronics tinkering. I finished the Red Llama overdrive clone. But, there were a "few" Stephen King Mods. Now, to put it on a case and get it on the pedal board.
I love this overdrive - deep, rich tones; gritty overdriven distortion; or clean boost. The 4049 Op-Amp is a cool Integrated Circuit to play with. It's makes a smaller footprint for a pedal. It did require a little manipulation of capacitor values. But, Kirchoff's Voltage Law saves the day. It's a great pedal. But what color do we paint it?

Fear Vs. Faith

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:30:00 +0000

Fear, Worry, Anxiety - that gut wrenching feeling you get. We see it every day. Society - our culture, friends and family - say "it's OK", "It's natural", or "I would be worried too." But, what is FEAR? I don't have Webster's definition in front of me so you get my definition.

Fear is the belief that something BAD is going to happen.

You can have "fear" all day long and people will say you are normal. People live in fear every day. The hospitals are full of people that have fears. It eats at you stomach. It raises you blood pressure. It paralyzes you. Fear will kill you.

But what about Faith? Try having "Faith" and see what the world does to you. People think you are nuts. What's the definition of "Faith" Again, no Webster's - just me.

Faith is the belief that something GOOD is going to happen.

Fear and Faith are the same emotion. The belief that something that has not happened is going to happen. Fear believes the worst. Faith Believes the best. We choose. Neither the good nor the bad have happened. Our mind is going to focus on one or the other. We make the decision. It sounds simple but it's not. But, we do have the ability to choose.

I try to choose Faith. I don't always succeed. Fear is just so natural. But I AM GETTING BETTER at choosing FAITH.

Paul's take on Goals

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:36:00 +0000

We are given some guidance by Paul to have a definite goal. He tells us in 1 Cor 9:26 to NOT "run uncertainly" or just "beat the air." If you have ever started running long distances (or any distance for that matter.) You know it's not the running you enjoy. It's best to have a specific goal in mind - a big race, a target distance, something important. If the goal is not big enough, it is very easy to quit because there is not "magic." If you want to loose 2 pounds, it's easy to tell your self i can cut back on my portion sizes at meal time. If the goal is to great, it may seem unattainable. Then it's easy to give by saying it was an impossible goal to begin with. If you are 50 pounds over weight and cant walk to the mailbox much less run, running the marathon next month is not realistic. But, running to the end of the road may be.

Goals must be specific. You cant just beat the air and hope your apponent runs in ftont of a punch. I saw that in an MMA fight last night. To often i hear poeple who want to get into shape. What's "Shape?" Lets face it "round" is a shape. And I'm already in that shape. I want to loose 65 pounds over the next 12 months. That goal is specific. There is an amount and a timeframe. It is easly measured. I have a scale and a calender.

But the real criticale part of goals is the "WHY!!!" Face it. If you do not have a reason to lose weight, save money, start a business, go back to school, or whatever else, then IT DON'T MATTER!!!! YOU WILL NOT DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR NO REASON. Sorry, I was yelling. But it's true. You have to have a "Why!" or the "How" is irelevant. We run for the PRIZE not because we love the pain of running. At some point you may love to run. But we start because of the prize. And the prize needs to be large enough to be seen beyond any obsticle that is in front of us. When the going gets tough, only the person that sees the prize will keep going.

Here is how Paul puts it.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but [only] one receives the prize? So run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] {and} make it yours. Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately {and} restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither. Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air {and} striking without an adversary. But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel {and} things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit]. 1 Cor 9:24-27 (Amplified)

Make-a-Wish

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:34:00 +0000

Thank you to all the folks that helped with the Wish Maker's Ball Saturday night. It was a blast. The Ball was to raise money for the Mississippi Chapter of Make-a-Wish. I'm not sure the final total. But, we were well on the way to a great event.

The highlight of the evening was this year's queen. She was an 8 year old with energy for days. (Or, at least til the car hit the end of the drive way.) She danced all night. And the band "Almost Famous" could probably not play a song she didn't know. It was a hoot to watch her.

If you are looking for a charity to support, Make-a-Wish is one of the best. Check them out with any charity watchdog group. You will be impressed too.

We benefited from a Make-a-Wish trip with Wiley a couple years ago. it was a vital part of his recovery. These are not dying wishes but recovery and healing wishes. In Wiley's case, he wanted a "normal" vacation. I may never be able to afford a "normal" vacation after all the expenses of a brian tumor and the related expenses. Not to mention, Make-a-Wish, Give Kids the World, Disney, Sea World, Universal and the volunteers set a pretty high standard for "Normal."

I want to encourage you. In this time of economic uncertanty, give. The battles these kids face are not swayed by economic factors. 244 kids a year in Mississippi are recommended by doctors to Make-a-Wish. More than a 100 wishes are not able to be filled because of a lack of funding. That is more than 100 kids miss out on a dream.

Come and Join Make-a-Wish

Working From Home

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:20:00 +0000

I am blessed. I work for a great company - SkyHawke Technologies. We build a GPS system for golfers called the SkyCaddie. IT not just "A" system. It's "THE" system. If you are serious about your game, you have to have one of these in your bag. There are others out there but none are as good as ours. (That's another day's BLOGing)

With Wiley being sick, SkyHawke has been so very gracious in letting work from home. I am thankful i can be the fulltime care giver for Wiley. It doesn't take a much work. But, it's not something we can pass off to someone else either. I get to take a few days a month and work from Memphis / St. Jude.

People tell me all the time i am lucky. I don't believe in "luck" though. I do believe in blessings. But, I also remind folks. When you work from home, you never leave work. I work more hours than ever now. I feel guilty about not being in the office. I try to work harder and get more done just so no one thinks I'm goofin' off. I also miss the interaction with my team. I have a great bunch of guys I enjoy hanging out with.

But for now. in this season, I need to take care off Wiley. (And work a lot!!!!)

Pinelake's Life Journal reading for today - Joshua 1-2; Psalms 37; 1 Corrinthains 3

I'm Qualified!!!!!

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:56:00 +0000

From todays Life Journal readin'

For Christ (the Messiah) sent me out not to baptize but [to evangelize by] preaching the glad tidings (the Gospel), and that not with verbal eloquence, lest the cross of Christ should be deprived of force {and} emptied of its power {and} rendered vain (fruitless, void of value, and of no effect). For the story {and} message of the cross is sheer absurdity {and} folly to those who are perishing {and} on their way to perdition, but to us who are being saved it is the [manifestation of] the power of God. For it is written, I will baffle {and} render useless {and} destroy the learning of the learned {and} the philosophy of the philosophers and the cleverness of the clever {and} the discernment of the discerning; I will frustrate {and} nullify [them] {and} bring [them] to nothing. 1 Cor 1:17 (Amplified)

I love it. We are sent to share the message of the Cross. We are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus. And, it's not our ability. It is our availability. Through our weakness, He is glorified.

He will baffle the brilliant, frustrate the philosophers, and generally hack off the religious leaders. I love God's sense of humor. It's amazing how many people are educated byond thier intelligence.

RAIN!!!!! Wooo Hooooo!!!!

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:42:00 +0000

I am a huge fan of the rain today. My head has been pounding. My eyes watering. My sinuses are revolting. I can feel my heart beat between my eyes. In Mississippi, everything - EVERYTHING indoors and out - has a layer of yellow dust blanketing it. All cars are yellow. Factory paint codes mean nothing. I have a choice - I can function and suffer the effects of allergies. OR, I can combat the allergies and be groggy or asleep. I chose to fight back with medications. Now, I am sleepy AND my head hurts!!!! AAAarrrrggghhhhhh!!!

As the rain falls, you can see the rivers of pollen being created. It's a cleansing rain. A healing rain.

I love the rain.

Curses & Blessings - (Deuteronomy 27-28)

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 13:56:00 +0000

In the Pinelake Life Journal, we have been reading Deuteronomy 27-28. This is the covenant with Israel. It covers the "Curses and Blessings" of Israel. Chapter 27 deals with the "Curses" and 28 the "Blessings".

Israel is told in 28:1 - "IF YOU will listen diligently to the voice of the Lord your God, being watchful to do all His commandments which I command you this day, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth." (Amplified Bible) That is a promise to the nation and people of Israel. But God's promise is conditional. "If you will" means that you get these promises under the conditions outlined. And what were the conditions - "do all His Commandments" and "listen diligently to the voice of the Lord your God". This means that we have the option of doing these things or NOT doing them. And as with all God's promises, there is a reward for obedience and a punishment for a lack of obedience.

Today's Life Journal reading - Deut. 28-29; Gal. 6

Living Vicariously Through Children

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:58:00 +0000

I am sitting here with my beautiful bride one day after our 24th wedding anniversary. She is watching some program on little girls and moms in beauty pageants. She was a pageant queen growing up. I got to be there for all of the pageants after we met. It was cool. Let's face it, i became a guitar player to meet girls - this was heaven. Sorry, i digressed. Stacy's mom was great. Stacy wanted to be there. And her mom, just let her be there and supported her.

BUT THESE LADIES ON TV ARE NUTS!!!!!!!!! These moms were living their lives through these little girls. It was painful to watch. I never saw anything like that with Stacy's mom. Thank goodness. Thank you, Ms. Holmes.

Dads, were not off the hook. I see dads living through their sons out on all kinds of field - football, baseball, soccer, and every other sport. If you never made it to the pros, don't try to live your past through your kids.

Where Did Time Go

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:13:00 +0000

A few days ago, March 24, Wiley left the teenage years and crossed into his 20's. Wow!!!!! I remember his birth. (In the days before cell phone, you could charge your long distance calls to you home phone. And that's what I was doing as I called the parents to let them know. As I placed the third call, the operator told me that number i gave her was not the number i gave the first 2 calls. Not sure who paid for the first two calls - but thank you.) Anyhow, it's had to believe how quickly time passes by. But, the days march on. No going back. No "do overs". We don't have Bill Murray's day in Ground Hog Day to practice or know what will happen next.

Live today like there is no tomorrow. Love like you may never see people again. Don't let things get to you. Worry will kill you faster than a brain tumor. And Laugh all you can.

25 Random Things

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:19:00 +0000

OK, OK, OK, already. I get the picture. Everybody wants to know 25 random things. Well, here they are:

I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is God made flesh and sent to earth to be the final sacrifice for my sins. I am saved by God’s grace, through faith in Christ Jesus.
My wife is the best! I could not live without her. She truly is my completer. We got married March 10, 1985.
I have two sons – Wiley & Hunter. Wiley is 20. Hunter is 18.
My son, Wiley, is battling a very rare brain tumor called a Craniopharingioma. It has robbed him of most of his vision. It has destroyed his endocrine system – he now takes 11 medications a day to stay alive and function. Without all the meds, he can live about 6 hours past the time he needs to take them.
Hunter is a scientist. He wants to go to Mississippi State to study Mechanical Engineering or Electrical Engineering. He got his momma’s brains.
I am ambitiously lazy. I love work. I could sit and watch it for hours.
I am a musician that works as a research mathematician to support my habit as a guitar player. I consider myself more of an artist than scientist.
I am a Dale Carnegie instructor to pay for my gear and studio.
I use to be a motivational speaker. It’s just like being a musician only different. One day, I’ll get back on the road again.
I am the lead singer, slide & rhythm guitar player for the Off 61 band. We play Christian music with a southern rock and blues feel.
I am trying to learn to be a song writer. For a boy that failed English almost every time he took it, this is a challenge. It took me 5 senior semesters to pass sophomore literature.
I get to be a substitute preacher sometimes. When I retire, I would like to pastor a church. Or, just work as a janitor at one.
I have written, produced, edited, and directed 13 movies. One was even picked up, in parts, by the Discovery Channel several years back for the “Weapons of War” series on the HEDI Missile system.
I have worked on several albums over the years. My first exposure to recording was with James Stroud, a friend of the family when I was a kid. James had just produced a Gold Album with Dorothy Moore. James is now one of the top music people in Nashville.
I’m a picky eater.
I am building a 1979 ProStreet Toyota Pickup truck. I have a Chevy 327 Small Block motor, Power Glide transmission, Narrowed Ford 9” rear end, 10 point Art Morrison roll cage, and other custom stuff. The only thing left made by Toyota is the frame from the cab forward; the front suspension and steering; and the skin on the body. I have done all the cutting, welding, and sheet metal work myself. Family and friends have helped and hung out with me along the way.
I love motorcycles. I have a Kawasaki KLR 650 Dual Sport. Looks and rides like a motocross / enduro bike. I would love to build a chopper – not buy one – I want to do all the sheet metal work, forming / welding, etc.
I still have my first car - a 1974 MGB. It needs to be rebuilt and restored. It’s next in line to be rolled into the shop and out of my mom’s garage.
I have a dream of building a 1948 Anglia (little British Ford car) hotrod for Wiley. I want to put pedals and steering on both sides so he can drive and I can be the co-pilot. Driving is one of the things Wiley misses most from his life before the tumor.
I love photography. I would love to have a studio. Stacy is a better photographer. But, we love to photograph different things. She likes nature. I love junkyards, cars, and people.
I would prefer to have long hair and a beard. I’m a hippy at heart.
I want to build a Factory 5 Cobra Replica.
I love playing golf. Ken Halford taught me the etiquette and how to play. We would play in the mornings. It would be the long hairs and the grey hairs. If you want to ruin a golf game, go to work in the golf industry. I have broken 90 within the rules. No fudging, no cheating, I played every shot and putted out every hole. 89 shots on a par 72 course.
My favorite color is camouflage / green. Closely followed by yellow and orange.
I love the water and sailing. But, my wife is not a water nut like me. Our biggest fights have been about water – and specifically water parks. So, I don’t push water, water toys, or water type vacaions.

30 Hour Work Days Make People NUTS!

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:39:00 +0000

I'm working at the office today. My one day a week to get to hangout with some of the best developers in the world. We have all been working long and hard on new software and systems. I have worked five days that exceeded 25 hours since Christmas. One work day was 30 hours. But, most days are 16-18 hour days. I have been fortunate of late. I am back to half days now - just 12 hour days.

As I got here this morning, I walked into a room full of web developers who were getting close to that 24 hour mark. And, you could tell. Heavy eyes were everywhere. They new if they stood still, sleep would over take them. So, they do what any self-respecting engineer would do - play jokes and cut up. From the USB controlled darts and a Nerf rocket launcher to practical jokes and funny stories. All tools in the battle for productivity have been employed. No time for sanity. We have milestones to meet!

The site is alive! They have succeeded in getting it migrated and published for he world to use. And, they should be commended. Not many developers have software used by thousands and thousands of consumers.

So next time use sit at your computer, think to yourself - some cat with a USB Nerf cannon, fed a diet of pizza and junk food, that has not had sleep in months wrote this. And, you wonder why it crashes sometimes. Now you know!

We Lost Another Cranio Kid

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 16:37:00 +0000

I have started writing this post several times. But, I could not finish it. And today may not be different. But, I'll try.

When we were told about Wiley's tumor, our minds raced. Would he survive? Would he be blind? Would he . . . ? Fill in the blanks. We had the question.

The research shows an average life expectancy of 10 years - on average. That means some live longer than 10 years. Unfortunately, some don't live as long. This weekend we lost another young one. It brings back the reality of mortality. You forget that this is a fight for life. So often, I get so focused on the fight for a "normal" life and fail to be thankful we get to be in that battle. Too many have lost the fight for life.

If Wiley lives the average, we have 6 more years. What would you or I do different if you knew when the last day was? Why am i not doing it?

What Does a Nerd do on a Night Off?

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:32:00 +0000

So what does a nerd do when he takes a night off? He does nerd stuff.

I took a couple of nights off this week. I ordered a Ibanez Tube Screamer Replica kit back before Christmas and right as all the long work hours kicked in. I looked at it several times but couldn't take time to build it. Well, over the last couple of nights, I built it and modified it. It's the basic 808 with the Keeley mods. I added a bass boost switch and changed it over to diode clipping. I also built an A/B guitar switch. Now i can keep two guitars plugged up and step on a switch to change between them. Sound nerdy? Guitar nerdy at least.

Home Built - Ibanez Tube Screamer T808 w/ some Modifications

Home Built - A/B

I have more designs in works. I am designing a true bypass pedal board. I need a good way to carry the stuff to gigs. I also am designing a "mega overdrive". Right now, it will have an Orange Crush, 2 Tube Screamers, and a Red Llama all in one box. It will also have a guitar selector - A/B/C/D. I need to build a tremolo too. And a . . . well it's nit a short list.

I have totally revamped my rig over our Christmas break. I got a Boss GT-10 amp simulator and multi effect for Christmas. It replaced a lot of my stomp boxes. Gone are the Chorus, Auto Wah, Wah, Acoustic Simulator, and delays/reverb/phase shift/flanger of the ME-10. I have 4 weeks to get the new rig "gig" ready.

and some of the old stuff . . .

I'm Back - (Back to a Reasonable Work Schedule)

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:57:00 +0000

We have rolled out our new software for this years PGA products show in Orlando. I am now back to a reasonable work schedule. It's 60 h0ur weeks now. Back with the family, back in the studio, band back to gigs, and maybe a few minutes of goofing off.

I love the intensity of the PGA Show deadlines. It's hard work. 30 hour work days drain you. (Yes - you can work 30 hours non-stop without dieing.) You miss a lot. But, it after 25 years of this kind of work you get use to. And I guess, I expect it. I don't know what people do that don't work this way. What do you do with a 9-5 job?

I guess golf and music.

Merry Christmas

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 19:28:00 +0000

Merry Christmas!!

This is the time of year we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior.

But all too often, I forget. I have no excuses. I get busy at work. (This is our busy season.) Busy at home. Busy at church. . . . and the list goes on.

I try to take a few minutes each day to reflect and be thankful. I try to focus on the the gift of salvation I have been given.

Where Were You 3 Years Ago Today

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:45:00 +0000

Do you remember where you were three years ago today? For most people, it was a fairly mundane day. It was just four days before Christmas. Were you doing that last minute shopping? Were you on the road to visit the ones you loved?

I remember that day well. I wake up to that nightmare too often. For me, it was one of the hardest days of my life. Wiley had survived a major brain surgery. For over 8 hours, the doctor had dug out as much tumor as he could safely remove. We had been released from ICU and were on the "floor" to continue recovery. But this morning, things went terribly wrong. In a matter of hours, Wiley had started pushing out all of the fluids he body held. I knew there was something wrong. I asked the nurse to call the doctors. She said she did. (We later found out - She did not.) Wiley had drawn up into a fetal position. He could not close his eyes. He couldn't talk or make any noise. You could pinch his skin and it would not return back.

Stacy was late getting to the hospital that morning. She had taken Hunter to school and was taking a few minutes to take care of some business. I had to call her and ask her where she was. And as calmly as possible let her know we REALLY needed her at the hospital. But, I did not want to tell her that Wiley was about to die. The last thing I wanted to upset her and risk her having a wreck getting to the hospital.

When I finally did get the doctor, they rushed Wiley back to the ICU. The staff of the ICU were able to get an artillerial line in to him and start getting fluids back into him. For all practical purposes, we had lost him. By the Grace of God and the work of the ICU staff Wiley was saved. It was touch and go through the day. It was a loooooong day for me.

That Christmas was spent back in the ICU. They let us sneak Hunter in to celebrate too. Wiley did not know we had Christmas. We let him open presents often. It was always a surprise for him to see his gifts.

That year I was given the gift of "time" with my sons.

Merry Christmas,
stephen

Cold and Wet

Stephen@off61.com (Renegade) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:10:00 +0000

Yesterday, Wiley and I made a mad dash to St. Jude for an appointment. The appointment was at 2:00. At 1:30, they dismissed schools due to "inclamate" weather. I guess dismissing school so "you buy all the milk and bread you can afford" is doesn't look to good on somebody's TPS report. We were blessed, we only say four bridge misshaps. But, it dd make for a slow drive home. Very cold, very wet, and bridges - there is a combination of challenges that always makes getting home fun.

It's a great day for duck huntin'. But, for Christmas? Well, yep! Tis great weather for that too I guess. I would rather have a good snow than this ice and freezing rain. But then again, I think I kinda like the "shorts and t-shirt" Christmas weather the best.

The winter wonder land sounds great in song. But, I think Christmas on the beach in shorts would be better. And even better still, on a sail boat in the Caribbean. How would that be for a holiday celebration. Now i need a friend with a sail boat! Where's Halford?